Hi Vivian! Thanks so much for your comment!

I’ve written a tiny bit about trying to fit into society as a nonbinary person, this piece from this summer comes to mind. But you have me…

Hi Vivian! Thanks so much for your comment!

I’ve written a tiny bit about trying to fit into society as a nonbinary person, this piece from this summer comes to mind. But you have me inspired to write about it a lot more! It is really hard to navigate and explain a trans identity to people, especially if you are Autistic, which I also am. It takes a lot of social confidence to do all that self-advocacy work, and some top-shelf social skills, which I don’t always have. I’ve had to learn self-advocacy in therapy, in my local Genderqueer Group, and in activist spaces and from reading books on good boundaries and setting limits.

All that said, it is still exhausting to go against the grain. It’s not like I can just wait for my workplace to get gender neutral bathrooms. Day by day, I have to use the bathroom, so I have to buy into a binary system or at least play along with it because it’s so deeply ingrained. I have been very lucky to be able to be selective about where I work, who I befriend, what social circles I move in, so if someone truly refuses to get it and to respect me, I can cut them off. But it’s still an exhausting thing at times. The more confident I get in who I am, the less exhausting it gets though.