I love this. It doesn't even have to be about just kink. Kink could be a stand-in for many other relationship goals. I'm actually inspired by this article. Thank you for writing this and spelling it out.
Yes, agreed! Basically all of this applies to any kind of relationship people can become too goal-oriented about -- from finding a long-term partner to wanting to become part of a subculture or community scene. Focus on activities, what you have to give, and nurturing the real relationships that matter to you, and it all flows!
This is excellent advice. People first, kinks last.
You can do mostly anything with someone who gets you, and loves you, and wants to make you happy. But you can only do the kinky thing with those who are incompatible emotionally or socially, and there's a high chance they'll be rather selfish when it comes to satisfying their own wants.
Relationships, kinky or otherwise, can only ever be built up over time, because they take effort and communication. They involve Proof of Work, and that can not be faked or skipped. Those who live in expectation they're going to stumble across a perfectly compatible partner are engaging in foolish wishful thinking. Just make good friends, play and improvise, and see what happens.
I love this article. It made me realize I’ve been stuck in this idea that sexual exploration is something other people give you rather than something you can actively do. It’s thrilling to think of figuring out my kinky side as a creative process, something I craft with my own hands, and already I prefer that idea much more than waiting for stars to align. I’ve always loved analyzing the more psychological aspects of kink, so it was cool to read about how this can be a genuinely useful tool in finding overlap with potential play partners!
I love this. It doesn't even have to be about just kink. Kink could be a stand-in for many other relationship goals. I'm actually inspired by this article. Thank you for writing this and spelling it out.
Yes, agreed! Basically all of this applies to any kind of relationship people can become too goal-oriented about -- from finding a long-term partner to wanting to become part of a subculture or community scene. Focus on activities, what you have to give, and nurturing the real relationships that matter to you, and it all flows!
This is excellent advice. People first, kinks last.
You can do mostly anything with someone who gets you, and loves you, and wants to make you happy. But you can only do the kinky thing with those who are incompatible emotionally or socially, and there's a high chance they'll be rather selfish when it comes to satisfying their own wants.
Relationships, kinky or otherwise, can only ever be built up over time, because they take effort and communication. They involve Proof of Work, and that can not be faked or skipped. Those who live in expectation they're going to stumble across a perfectly compatible partner are engaging in foolish wishful thinking. Just make good friends, play and improvise, and see what happens.
love your username!
I now want "growing in community with my fellow freaks" on a t-shirt/ button/ patch like stat
I love 2 comics.
I love this article. It made me realize I’ve been stuck in this idea that sexual exploration is something other people give you rather than something you can actively do. It’s thrilling to think of figuring out my kinky side as a creative process, something I craft with my own hands, and already I prefer that idea much more than waiting for stars to align. I’ve always loved analyzing the more psychological aspects of kink, so it was cool to read about how this can be a genuinely useful tool in finding overlap with potential play partners!