I needed this so badly in this moment. After becoming disabled from the adverse side effects of SSRIs and long Covid, I’ve become increasingly risk averse. This has limited my ability to connect with not only others but myself. For instance, I’ve recently been contemplating pursuing hormone therapy, but I’ve been too terrified to take the leap because of the previous unwanted and unforeseen consequences of medication on my body and sexuality. But change will happen either way, so I’ve been trying to embrace the idea of taking matters into my own hands instead of letting my fear be my guide. Thank you. Sincerely.
Thank you for this ❤️ "risk admission" and recognizing that we're always choosing between different risks is such a helpful reframing.
In the spirit of centering the most marginalized, herpes *can* have long-term adverse health effects on the body, if that body is or becomes immunocompromised. But that doesn't change your take-home point - immunocompromised folks are also just as capable and just as deserving of the ability to decide whether admitting that risk into their life is worth whatever they may gain from potential exposures 🔥🔥🔥
Thank you, and yes, that's true! For a lot of people, herpes can exist in the body without any apparent ill affects for the rest of their life, but there is a possibility of complications -- including truly rare and bizarre ones, such as the virus passing the blood-brain barrier and causing a person to believe they are dead (a very interesting neurological case study I once read).
Hi guys, hi Devon. Great piece. Nobody writes like this and I’m so glad to have come across you.
I heard your interview with Matt Bernstein and between that and your book on shame I have some fresh perspective on myself. I’ve been in a transition lull for a year but I am building momentum the last month.
This is crazy but after looking at my contours of systemic shame and my penchant for moralising, this week I was asking myself how I would handle upcoming risk in my personal life. I’ll be circling back on this entry again.
Devon you are a star, keep fighting the good fight. Amber x
Thank you so much for writing this and sharing your wisdom. I needed to read this and I am so thankful I did. “Risk admission” is something I’m going to keep thinking about all the time now. Thank you
Thank you for this, beautifully said and structured/interconnected (as is life). I got top surgery recently and your description of your feelings about it resonates so much! I moved out of my parents' house in order to do so and am currently feeling the weight of the question "should I regret this?" -- not because I feel shame, but because I don't. I hope to grow more comfortable in being validated by comfort rather than regret.
And the wish from autistic people that there were iron-clad rules... god, yeah. There are times hermitude sounds like a dream because of the constant changes and potential risks that engaging with social society presents. It's difficult to trust others when I only know what they show/tell me (and even that can be dishonest or subject to change), instead of how I know myself. I have mixed feelings about the idea that "to love is to be annoyed" ... but I want other people to stay with me, even if i annoy them, so I'll continue reminding myself that patience is a two-way street and annoyance is not necessarily suffering in silence but more volunteering myself to be inconvenienced for the sake of someone else's well-being.
I needed this so badly in this moment. After becoming disabled from the adverse side effects of SSRIs and long Covid, I’ve become increasingly risk averse. This has limited my ability to connect with not only others but myself. For instance, I’ve recently been contemplating pursuing hormone therapy, but I’ve been too terrified to take the leap because of the previous unwanted and unforeseen consequences of medication on my body and sexuality. But change will happen either way, so I’ve been trying to embrace the idea of taking matters into my own hands instead of letting my fear be my guide. Thank you. Sincerely.
May you continue to change bravely, in some directions you enjoy, and in ones you can figure out how to live with if you don't!
Thank you for this ❤️ "risk admission" and recognizing that we're always choosing between different risks is such a helpful reframing.
In the spirit of centering the most marginalized, herpes *can* have long-term adverse health effects on the body, if that body is or becomes immunocompromised. But that doesn't change your take-home point - immunocompromised folks are also just as capable and just as deserving of the ability to decide whether admitting that risk into their life is worth whatever they may gain from potential exposures 🔥🔥🔥
Thank you, and yes, that's true! For a lot of people, herpes can exist in the body without any apparent ill affects for the rest of their life, but there is a possibility of complications -- including truly rare and bizarre ones, such as the virus passing the blood-brain barrier and causing a person to believe they are dead (a very interesting neurological case study I once read).
Hi guys, hi Devon. Great piece. Nobody writes like this and I’m so glad to have come across you.
I heard your interview with Matt Bernstein and between that and your book on shame I have some fresh perspective on myself. I’ve been in a transition lull for a year but I am building momentum the last month.
This is crazy but after looking at my contours of systemic shame and my penchant for moralising, this week I was asking myself how I would handle upcoming risk in my personal life. I’ll be circling back on this entry again.
Devon you are a star, keep fighting the good fight. Amber x
This is so, so good. Thank you.
Thank you so much for writing this and sharing your wisdom. I needed to read this and I am so thankful I did. “Risk admission” is something I’m going to keep thinking about all the time now. Thank you
Thank you for this, beautifully said and structured/interconnected (as is life). I got top surgery recently and your description of your feelings about it resonates so much! I moved out of my parents' house in order to do so and am currently feeling the weight of the question "should I regret this?" -- not because I feel shame, but because I don't. I hope to grow more comfortable in being validated by comfort rather than regret.
And the wish from autistic people that there were iron-clad rules... god, yeah. There are times hermitude sounds like a dream because of the constant changes and potential risks that engaging with social society presents. It's difficult to trust others when I only know what they show/tell me (and even that can be dishonest or subject to change), instead of how I know myself. I have mixed feelings about the idea that "to love is to be annoyed" ... but I want other people to stay with me, even if i annoy them, so I'll continue reminding myself that patience is a two-way street and annoyance is not necessarily suffering in silence but more volunteering myself to be inconvenienced for the sake of someone else's well-being.