Masking to Get a Job (And Choosing When Not To)

Autistic Advice for job interviews.

Photo by Lesly Juarez on Unsplash

Welcome back to Autistic Advice, a semi-regular advice column where I respond to reader questions about neurodiversity, accessibility, disability justice, and self-advocacy from my perspective as an Autistic psychologist. You can send me questions or suggest future entries in the series via my Tumblr ask box, linked here.

Today’s question comes from Tumblr user Artistic Bumming. Artistic Bumming has a job interview on the horizon, and they wanted to know if I had any tips:

Thanks for asking this Artistic Bumming, I’ve been meaning to write advice for Autistic job applicants for quite some time! Back in 2022, I put together a lengthy resource on how Autistic people might better practice career discernment, researching potential lines of work, accurately appraising our own skills and weaknesses on the job market, and interviewing other people who have both succeeded and failed at various career paths, to determine which jobs are tenable for us. You can read that full piece here: 

Of course, many Autistics ultimately determine that there is no career path they can comfortably follow while remaining true to themselves, or their disabilities are so debilitating (and discriminated against) that they never even get to make such a choice. 

In the sequel to Unmasking Autism that I am currently writing, I speak to dozens of Autistics who have found means of survival outside of employment — living in trailers or communal squats, providing eldercare to relatives who can pay the bills, relying upon food stamps and housing assistance, becoming a stay-at-home parent for an employed spouse, or by combining resources with several disabled friends or a larger polycule. These approaches come with significant limitations, but we have to acknowledge them as options — because a majority of Autistics are unemployed. Roughly 83% of us, in fact. 

Autistics get excluded from participation in employment for a variety of reasons. We typically can’t sustain the long hours and the uncomfortable, noisy professional environments that a kitchen, open-plan office, or hospital ward present. The demands of workplace chit-chat drains our batteries and gets us involved in subtle conflicts we don’t recognize and can’t navigate gracefully. Bosses underpay us, condescend to us, and recommend that we follow blatantly illegal company policies, for example by discouraging the discussion of salaries — and when we openly confront such problems, we get fired or managed out. 

The "Magic" of Meeting in Person

But one of the main reasons that Autistics cannot find paying work is because of the superficiality, vagueness, and social performative nature of job interviews. Empirical research shows that Autistic people dramatically underperform in job interviews compared to non-Autistic interviewees, because of confusingly-worded questions, unclear expectations, and prejudices in how interviewers interpret our responses and social behavior.

When Edgar, a 20-year-old Autistic man applied for a job at a local cafe, he prepared a resume highlighting his experience at a food kitchen and gathered references from his volunteer coordinator and a pastor that knew him pretty well. He hadn’t worked at a cafe before, but felt confident he could demonstrate he knew how to interact with members of the public and handle food. Then the cafe manager hit him with this non sequitur: If Edgar was stranded on a desert island for 18 months, what would he bring? 

“I had not prepared an answer for that one,” Edgar tells me. He says he fumbled trying to come up with a response. “I drew a blank. I said, well I don’t know if I’m going to make it on the island for that long alone, honestly.” He thought that answer might demonstrate he preferred being around people, and it also showed his candor. But he didn’t get the job. 

Interview questions like these are intended to test an applicant’s creative thinking abilities, their skill in explaining their own thought process, and provide a glimpse of the applicant’s personality. They have no scientific basis, and provide almost zero insight into an interview subject’s personal qualities, let alone how they will perform the job at hand.

In fact, the job interview itself remains a terrible predictor of job performance, in repeated empirical studies. Harvard Business Review recommends simply reviewing an applicant’s actual work experience or assigning them work duties and examining how they complete them, instead. Interviews are so ineffective in predicting actual work outcomes as to be useless. 

Despite this fact, unfocused, scientifically invalid interviews like the one Edgar experienced remain wildly popular, because, well, most managers are not evidence-based managers. They don’t read the social science literature, they don’t care much about equity, and they operate primarily out of biased intuition. They hire the person makes the most “sense” to them for the position, or whom they most readily like. Unsurprisingly, this process introduces a ton of bias that disadvantages Autistics and ADHDers, as well as people with OCD, BPD, NPD, a brain injury, or schizophrenia, along with just about any other neurodivergent person. 

Several empirical research studies have demonstrated that hiring managers stereotype Autistic job applicants as incapable of functioning in the workplace, and specifically as lacking the communication skills, baseline competences, and cultural “fit” needed to succeed in their organizations. And by placing so much importance onto job interviews that are not objective, and can’t even predict actual job outcomes, hiring agents exclude anyone who comes across as uncomfortable, difficult-to-read, or the slightest bit “odd” during a brief encounter. 

So how can a neurodivergent job applicant make their way through the gauntlet of harsh judgement, elaborate social ritual, and popularity-tests-disguised-as-icebreaker-questions that is the modern job interview? 

I hate having to even give this kind of advice, because so much of it hinges on masking, the exhausting art of concealing one’s disability and compensating for it with extensive research and the imitation of neuro-conforming behaviors. But I also recognize my disabled peers need to eat. And not all acts of masking are equally damaging. There is a big difference between instinctively concealing yourself all of the time, and choosing to use your social camouflage skills once in a while to get what you need. 

So, how can you use the mask to bag yourself a job? And how will you know when donning a neurotypical worksona is no longer healthy? Here are some tips. 

Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash

Research the company, the department, and the position, until you know exactly what the hiring team wants. 

There is no singular canned response that will serve you well at every interview for every position. Hell, there isn’t even a single resume that will suit you well for every job application. You have to tailor it. Hiring decisions are largely based upon “fit,” and so you should edit every application, cover letter, and interview response to make yourself sound like precisely what that specific company wants. 

Thankfully, many employers will leave you obvious breadcrumbs: look to the skills they highlight at the top of the job description, and make sure you say that you have them. Review the company’s mission statement and history on its website, and notice which words stand out, and which myths the organization likes to tell about itself. With your words, you will want to reinforce these myths — just never catch yourself actually believing the company is a bastion of diversity or eco-friendliness or whatever. 

Does the company describe itself as forward-thinking and competitive? Then present yourself as an achievement-hungry go-getter with a fascination for tech. Is it an educational nonprofit that talks about fostering hope in the next generation? Then make yourself into an inspiring, nurturing figure who has always dreamed of empowering youth. Does this receptionist job comes with some administrative duties? Then make sure to mention any secretarial work you have done. 

To transform your actual self into the fictionalized optimal fit the company is looking for, you will have to learn how to cherry-pick details from your life experiences, round-up past job duties into something more impressive than it actually was, and maybe even craft a self-serving lie or two at times. Which brings us to the next tip: 

Create a self-serving narrative. 

Before you walk in for the job interview, you should prepare a brief, compelling story that conveys why you are exactly the type of person the company is looking for. Any prior work experience or life struggles that complicate this narrative should be glossed over — and any skills, training, education, or experience that is even tangentially relevant to the job should be heralded and trumpeted to make sure your interviewer does not miss it. 

Here’s an example from my own life. Back in 2016, I applied for a researcher position at a nurse’s association. Though I possessed the statistical skills needed for the position, one person on the hiring committee doubted that I had enough familiarity working with data in a medical setting. When it came time for the second round of interviews, I made sure to speak at length about the drug treatment facility I had worked at, and all of the observational data I had collected from patients. The committee was impressed, and chose me as a finalist for the position. 

The “medical setting” that I had worked at was actually a graduate student internship in a drug treatment facility within the Cook County Jail. I didn’t misrepresent any of my actual work duties, or my clients, I just made sure to present my work with them in the way the hiring committee would find the most compelling. If instead I had been interviewing for a government research job, I would have instead talked about that internship as a past example of having worked for the county government. 

My life and my entire work history are a prism that I can twist into the light as I wish, drawing attention to certain elements and downplaying others. If you really want to convince an interviewer that you will make an excellent cook, a kick-ass camp counselor, a reliable assistant, or a dependable shift lead, you should create a story that shows you’ve basically already done it. Don’t worry about this making you dishonest, or an imposter. Non-Autistic job applicants are already rounding up their experiences and selling the hell out of themselves in these ways. 

Photo by Joyce Busola on Unsplash

Practice, practice, practice. 

Most of us neurodivergent folks either process new information more slowly than neurotypicals people do, or we process in an associative, systematizing fashion that others might find hard to follow. Autistics in particular famously miss subtext and interpret statements literally quite a lot, so our answers may baffle interviewers.

To get around this, I’d recommend searching online for example interview questions, and practice responding to them with a friend playing the role of interviewer. Make sure to search for questions specific to the position for which you are applying, as well as more generic “what was a time when you solved a problem at work” style prompts and more icebreaker-y questions.

If you can, have multiple different friends mock-interview you, and ask them for feedback on your responses. Enlist your more neuro-conforming acquaintances and people who already have jobs for their insights, if possible. Your mock-interviewers should also throw out a few unexpected questions, so that you can practice thinking on your feet. If you fail to get a job offer from a real interview, consider asking your interviewer for their feedback on your performance as well. 

Try not to let it drive you too crazy if the feedback you receive from different interviewers isn’t consistent across the board — remember, there is no objective metric of what counts as a “good” response, and even a technically strong answer might fail to connect with some interviewers based on your tone, their mood, or any other number of variables. 

You can’t expect yourself to S-rank a job interview. This entire process is an unscientific, prejudice-laden mess that is inherently biased against Autistic people. The main reason to practice is to reduce the anxiety you feel during the interview process, not to meet some arbitrary standard of perfection. To wit: 

Photo by Yogendra Singh on Unsplash

Regulate your anxiety. 

If you seem calm and collected during your interview, your interviewer will find you less suspicious and easier to connect to. This is true regardless of the actual content of your speech. So when the day of the actual job interview comes, make it your focus to soothe yourself physically as best you can — with deep breathing, grounding exercises, covert stimming, slow movements, an open posture that directs air into your diaphragm, or by focusing on a reassuring thought. 

In general, Autistic people tend to place far greater emphasis on the content of a person’s speech than on tone of voice, body posture, mannerisms, or other nonverbals. And so, when a hiring manager asks us for an example of a time we worked well on a team, we might tense up, because we are so focused on identifying the right anecdote and explaining it correctly. In worrying so much about choosing the correct words we come across as anxious, dishonest, or detached, and we get penalized. 

We can prevent some of this by practicing our responses in advance, so that recalling answers to questions feels easy and comfortable. But we should also make projecting a confident, relaxed air a part of our preparation. Neuro-conforming people don’t just speak to transmit information, after all. They also use it to signal their status, establish affiliation with another person, break the ice, convey their mood, or create a playful atmosphere. 

When you enter the job interview, you should try to fake what an unbothered, high-status, desirable, and mildly friendly personality looks like in a neurotypical. Ask your interviewer questions about their day, and comment upon the weather or your surroundings. Match their energy, especially if they are affable or make jokes. Ask questions about the job that reflect curiosity and passion for the work. Oh, you use that software, how do you like it? How often do you have cashiers balance their drawers? I love working with automatic espresso machines!

If your interviewer ask you a question you haven’t planned a response for, try keeping your emotional energy casual and open. Remember, picking the exact right words is not important. Seeming like an easy person to be around who likes themselves and likes others matters vastly more. More on this here: 

Why Does Nobody Flirt with Me? How Do I Deal with Social Anxiety?

A few years ago my coworker Udayan revealed to me that during the interview for my current position, I committed the faux pas of putting my leg on the table. I was mortified to hear I’d failed at masking so extravagantly. I couldn’t even regulate my body movements for a few hours to keep myself from doing something rude. I apologized profusely. But Udayan said it showed how comfortable I felt. 

“It showed how at ease you were in the conversation, and so it kind of worked in your favor,” he told me. And he was right, I had been having a great time chatting with my soon-to-be coworkers in that moment. And it showed. 

Ironically, by accidentally unmasking in a deeply unprofessional way, I made it easier for my interviewers to like me and to see me as a person they could work with. Most heavy maskers come across as so uncomfortable that other people read us with suspicion, and so sometimes, it’s best to release a little of the tension. 

Do not share ANYTHING that can be used against you.

The appearance of relaxation and candor can score us some serious points during a job interview. At the same time, it is important that we learn to reign in our Autistic (over) honesty, lest we divulge personal details an employer will use against us. 

Amanda is a sound engineer, and she learned this lesson the last time she told a prospective employer about her depression. “The job application asked if I was the member of any protected classes, and I said yes, because I have Major Depression, and technically that counts as disabled,” she says. 

But during her job interview, the HR representative kept doubting Amanda’s abilities. “She kept asking me, are you really sure you will be able to handle this kind of workload? We need self-motivating people, are you sure you are able to do that?” Nothing Amanda said could reassure her. She did not get the position. 

In terms of legality, employers cannot discriminate against job applicants on the basis of disability, gender, race, religion, age, marital status, reproductive choices, nationality, or health. In practice, a legal discrimination case is hard to win and incredibly expensive to pursue, and so employers discriminate based on these factors all the time. 

Do not tell a potential employer that you have Long COVID, that you’re gay, or that you’re pregnant and will be taking maternity leave in the next few months. Hide your baby bump from the Zoom screen, say vaguely that work is your primary focus when quizzed on your marital status, and if an interviewer asks whether you have reliable transportation to work, just say yes without further elaboration, whether it’s your own car, a parent who drives you, or the bus. 

No self-snitching. Remember, your goal is advancing the narrative that you are a very desirable, very chill person who happens to magically be the ideal fit for the job posting. Anything that complicates that narrative should disappear behind an easy smile. 

Lie. 

The cards are stacked against us as marginalized job applicants, and sometimes the best way to overcome injustice is to bend the rules a bit ourselves. 

Dominick had been preparing to interview for an insurance adjustor position for a few weeks, but he kept getting stuck on a question asking about a time in the past when he provided exceptional customer service. 

“I worked at an auto repair shop owned by my cheapskate uncle” he laughs. “We were not providing exceptional customer service.” 

And so Dominick decided to make up a story about what exceptional customer service would have looked like. “I said that a customer came in thinking they needed to get all of these expensive repairs done, and I told them that wasn’t so and saved him a ton of money.” This was exactly the kind of approach the staff at an insurance company liked to hear. 

I routinely serve as a “professional reference” for neurodivergent friends who are applying for jobs. Many of my closest loved ones have been unemployed for years due to disability, and without a strong record of employment it’s nearly impossible for them to enter the job market. But by vouching for their skills as my “research aide” or “teaching assistant,” I can sometimes help them get back on their feet. 

I know many Autistic folks who have presented volunteer positions or hobbies as work experience on their resumes, and I highly encourage it. As long as you aren’t falsely presenting yourself as having important medical or vehicle operating skills in a way that might put others at risk, there isn’t really any harm in it. So by all means, go ahead and lie about your food service experience, or present your time as a forum moderator as a management gig. It’s all good if it will keep you housed and fed. 

Ask yourself if all this effort is worth it.

Nailing a job interview is a high-intensity act of tactical masking, one that requires many hours of research, rehearsal, and retraining. At every stage of the interview preparation process, you really ought to pause and ask yourself whether it’s worth it, and if it’s good for you. 

How is your anxiety? How has pretending to think and act like a neurotypical person affected your self-concept? After you secure a paid position, will you be able to loosen your mask, or are you setting yourself up for a full-time career of performing neuroconformity? What vibes are you getting from your potential employer? Do you think you will even like this job? Can you truly envision yourself working there for long? 

I share the advice that has helped me find employment so that other Autistics might support themselves and their communities for however long they can. But masking is not a long-term solution to the problem of our marginalization. And some of us earning a little extra money at the expense of our selfhood does nothing to free the disabled people who cannot make such a devil’s bargain. 

The mask can only be useful to us if we retain the option of taking it off. For many working Autistics, that means keeping our eye on the door and remembering that if we need to, we can get fired, collect unemployment, find a side-hustle, move in with friends, or otherwise dodge capitalistic pressures. The mask you wear to nail the job interview cannot be the person you pretend to be every day. 

None of us can mask and work hard forever, and none of us should want to live in a world where disabled people are expected to. And so we must plan for a better life beyond the structure of employment — and then take steps to create that life, for ourselves and for the other disabled people that we love. If we’re going to try and “earn a living,” what will we do with those earnings to help uplift other disabled people? What choices will we make with our time and money to grant ourselves and others greater stability? How can we allow others to lean on us, so that one day we might lean on them? 

Ultimately, these are the questions that we must ask. Because even if a few of us can get by in the working world for a time, nothing about conventional employment truly “works” for us. 

You can submit future questions to Autistic Advice at drdevonprice.com/ask.